Funeral Services -- Competition or Ministry?

[Barrington Brennen]

What do you think?
Pastor Johnson wrote an article in the Nassau Guardian for Thursday, October 8, 2009 Click HERE to read it . What do you think. Give your views. You can also respond to -the questions below.

- Are funeral services too long?
- Does it matter how long are funeral services?
- Why can't people just stand up, speak up, and then shut it?
-Traditionally, Adventist haven't had a memorial service and funeral service for a departed loved one. Memorial services are generally less structured and are longer than funerals. Why would a funeral be long if there was a memorial service.
-When someone gets up to speak or sing they should limit themselves to that task alone.
-It is my opinion that even the amount of pastors and platform participants can be overbearing. What do you say.
-It is my opinion that visits in the home or hospital is much more meaningful than appearing at funerals to speak. Providing encouragement and support where is it most needed is important.
-Most of the times people who bring condolences or tributes are just repeating one another. We need to do something to reduce this. What do you say?
-Funeral services in my opinion are to provide comfort and hope for the family of the deceased and also to admonish those who are alive to live for Christ. It is a wonderful evangelism event. What do you think?

-Why does it appear as though funeral services are more of a competition and less of a ministry to those that are mourning? The cost of the casket. The amount of items of the program. Why is it we feel we must call the names of every official in the audience, even if they were not invited? Is it to make ourselves look great? YOUR FIVE CENTS

Why do we wear black at funerals? Do know realize that it is only a tradition. It is a tradition based on the idea the "spirits" will not harm you if you wear black. Adventist do not believe it that. Right? There is nothing Biblical or spiritual about wearing black or dark colors at funerals.

GIVE YOU FIVE CENTS ON FUNERALS. JUST ADD YOUR COMMENTS BELOW
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[Darell Taylor]

Perhaps I should have read your blog before I commented on Pastor Johnson's. We share the same views on the purpose of a memorial services vs. a funeral service...i.e memorials should be reserved for the accolades and the funeral service for evangelism.

The wearing of dark or sober colours at funerals I think is most appropriate. Wasn't it also traditional for biblical characters to wear sack cloth and ashes when they wanted to show a sign of repentance? Shouldn't the clothes we wear at funeral services denote that we are in mourning along with the family?

[Barrington Brennen]

I am not saying we should not ware black at funerals. I am helping us to think that we do things mostly on tradition and there is very little value in most of them and not spiritually required. I use the term "Spiritually required" as oppose to "Biblical" because there is a difference. Some think that since something is mentioned in the Bible, "Biblical" would be "spiritually required." Remembers David had 4 wives and there is not condemnation. Is that right? No! (Just a little off here)

There is no reason one has to be in black or one cannot ware other colors and funerals. Let me share with you a part of an article I wrote "Tradition Must Make Sense"
"Some people would make you believe that it’s scriptural, or sacrilegious if you don’t wear black when your spouse dies. Hundreds of years ago, when someone died, the relative feared that the ghost of the one who had died would return and do them harm. Hence, they tried to disguise themselves so the returning ghost would not know them. At first, they pasted their faces with mud, and later begun to wear a black veil. Then with this black veil came other garments. So wearing black at funerals is only a tradition. Maybe when an elderly person dies, we should feel free to celebrate the long life of the deceased by wearing happy, cheerful colors. That’s a good tradition we can start in our country. Some families insist that when a close relative dies, they must wear black for a certain period of time. Perhaps, this is also a meaningless tradition."



Darell Taylor said:

Perhaps I should have read your blog before I commented on Pastor Johnson's. We share the same views on the purpose of a memorial services vs. a funeral service...i.e memorials should be reserved for the accolades and the funeral service for evangelism.

The wearing of dark or sober colours at funerals I think is most appropriate. Wasn't it also traditional for biblical characters to wear sack cloth and ashes when they wanted to show a sign of repentance? Shouldn't the clothes we wear at funeral services denote that we are in mourning along with the family?

[Thelma Sturrup]

Funerals in my opinion are too long. And sometimes, even when family members want a short service, the moderators run on and on and on. To me the most important part of the service is the sermon and enough time should always be given to the Pastors. However, Pastors must realize that they don't have to preach long to get the point across. Sometimes, a 15 minute sermon makes far more of an impact that an hour sermon. In fact after the first 15 - 20 minutes you begin to loose your audience.

I think the time as come when the church needs to start limiting the amount of persons giving tributes, condolences, and the "As I Knew Her/Him", the ridiculous amount of specials, and dance, and all those other things. Funeral services should be simple and short.

The color you wear to a funeral shouldn't matter. I wore pink to my mothers funeral - I was celebrating the life she lived, and the crown she now awaits. Black does not mean you are in mourning. You can mourn in any color - we must learn to do away with the traditions of man.

[Barrington Brennen]

I agree Thelma from Grand Bahama. Funerals are really too long. In recent funerals where I coordinated, I stood up beside the person when his or time was up and told them to end. This was after I would have made a general announcement at the beginning that I will be doing that if anyone runs over his or her time. The best thing today is the we do not read the obituary anymore, at least not at most funerals. Why read it and it is already printed.



Thelma Sturrup said:

Funerals in my opinion are too long. And sometimes, even when family members want a short service, the moderators run on and on and on. To me the most important part of the service is the sermon and enough time should always be given to the Pastors. However, Pastors must realize that they don't have to preach long to get the point across. Sometimes, a 15 minute sermon makes far more of an impact that an hour sermon. In fact after the first 15 - 20 minutes you begin to loose your audience.

I think the time as come when the church needs to start limiting the amount of persons giving tributes, condolences, and the "As I Knew Her/Him", the ridiculous amount of specials, and dance, and all those other things. Funeral services should be simple and short.

The color you wear to a funeral shouldn't matter. I wore pink to my mothers funeral - I was celebrating the life she lived, and the crown she now awaits. Black does not mean you are in mourning. You can mourn in any color - we must learn to do away with the traditions of man.

[Ann M. Albury]

This is a very sensitive area that has been broached. However, I do believe that we are only skimming the surface when it come to issues about funerals within the SDA church. To respond to the those issues that have been raised. I think whatever an individual chooses to wear is up to them. Their are other dynamics that influences us other that tradition/culture when it comes to what we wear. Sometimes depending on the circumstances of death, will influence one's attire. Sudden death, tragic death, for example. I do believe that I would wear something different if my mother or father were to die. They have lived what we can term "a full life." Of course this statement can raise other theological issues, but I am presenting this from an emotional and psychological perspective.

In addition, after reading the president's article, I am not quite clear on the objective. I guess it can provoke further discussion. However, I think one of the things that can help in this problem is that we should all prepare in advance what we desire to have at our funerals. I have. Before the passing of my husband and long, long before he ever became ill, many of these issues were discussed openly in our home. I feel that alot of problems come when the family is left to make decisions, which might not have even been the desire of the deceased, but rather we seemed guided by our emotions to please the family, relatives and friends.
So I say again PREPARE YOUR OWN SERVICE NOW.

I think we also need to emphasize that all the good that we seem to stand publicly and air at a funeral service, needs to have been said to the family and the deceased loved one, before when they were alive. So, my question is, should we even entertain this method within our services. I find as a Bahamian, that many of us only know how to give accolades at funerals. We are not an expressive nation with regard to our emotions outside of such an environment. As Christians we need to set the example. So I say, WE NEED TO SPEAK WELL TO THE LIVING PERSON AND FAMILY BEFORE THEY DIE! Then just maybe this rush, the pressure on family and demanding would disappear, because our conscious would be at peace.

Lastly, all of the outpouring before the service and at the service needs to be translated into a well thought out and planned program to minister to the grieving and hurting members of our church and the community. For those of us who have walked this road, Paul admonished us..."comfort us and you have been comforted." And trust me comfort does not come at a funeral service. Sometimes one can hardly recall who spoke, who shoke their hand, etc. I do commend the president for mentioning this, but this area needs alot more emphasis and attention than the funeral service itself. So I say, WE NEED TO DEVELOP A PURPOSEFUL MINISTRY TO HELP THE BROKEN HEARTED.

Peace and blessings to all. From someone who has walked this lonely road.

[Barrington Brennen]

Great response and input sister Ann. I prayer many read and understand. My point about black at funeral is not that it is wrong to ware black but that we seem that is the only right color to ware or it is not right to ware any other color. You are right about the condition of death. But that also varies in family culture. As you said about caring, I wish more would BE THERE before and after the death of a loved one.



Ann M. Albury said:

This is a very sensitive area that has been broached. However, I do believe that we are only skimming the surface when it come to issues about funerals within the SDA church. To respond to the those issues that have been raised. I think whatever an individual chooses to wear is up to them. Their are other dynamics that influences us other that tradition/culture when it comes to what we wear. Sometimes depending on the circumstances of death, will influence one's attire. Sudden death, tragic death, for example. I do believe that I would wear something different if my mother or father were to die. They have lived what we can term "a full life." Of course this statement can raise other theological issues, but I am presenting this from an emotional and psychological perspective.

In addition, after reading the president's article, I am not quite clear on the objective. I guess it can provoke further discussion. However, I think one of the things that can help in this problem is that we should all prepare in advance what we desire to have at our funerals. I have. Before the passing of my husband and long, long before he ever became ill, many of these issues were discussed openly in our home. I feel that alot of problems come when the family is left to make decisions, which might not have even been the desire of the deceased, but rather we seemed guided by our emotions to please the family, relatives and friends.
So I say again PREPARE YOUR OWN SERVICE NOW.

I think we also need to emphasize that all the good that we seem to stand publicly and air at a funeral service, needs to have been said to the family and the deceased loved one, before when they were alive. So, my question is, should we even entertain this method within our services. I find as a Bahamian, that many of us only know how to give accolades at funerals. We are not an expressive nation with regard to our emotions outside of such an environment. As Christians we need to set the example. So I say, WE NEED TO SPEAK WELL TO THE LIVING PERSON AND FAMILY BEFORE THEY DIE! Then just maybe this rush, the pressure on family and demanding would disappear, because our conscious would be at peace.

Lastly, all of the outpouring before the service and at the service needs to be translated into a well thought out and planned program to minister to the grieving and hurting members of our church and the community. For those of us who have walked this road, Paul admonished us..."comfort us and you have been comforted." And trust me comfort does not come at a funeral service. Sometimes one can hardly recall who spoke, who shoke their hand, etc. I do commend the president for mentioning this, but this area needs alot more emphasis and attention than the funeral service itself. So I say, WE NEED TO DEVELOP A PURPOSEFUL MINISTRY TO HELP THE BROKEN HEARTED.

Peace and blessings to all. From someone who has walked this lonely road.